how to break the ice with someone
How to break the ice with someone
Whether you are trying to make new friends or you just haven’t seen them for a while, we all need some help breaking the ice and feeling comfortable around someone sometimes. Usually, all you need is a few days to make a new friend and start to be yourself completely around someone. But there will always be some people that you just don’t connect with and in a situation like that there is virtually no way to break the ice. With that being said, here are 10 tips on breaking the ice with someone
- Meet at a place where you are both comfortable
If you have ever had a dog you will notice that when you are at another dog’s house it gets quite defensive, versus when they meet at a dog park they usually get along. It is like this with people but less… aggressive, I guess? So it is a much better idea to meet where you are both comfortable and are on an equal playing ground. It is much easier to get along with someone when you don’t feel intimidated by them, and someone’s house can be a very intimidating place.
Some places you could choose to go to are shopping centres, parks, theme parks and other places where you will both have fun. If you meet at school, that’s even better.
- Make them laugh
Try to make the person laugh. Laughter releases endorphins and this interim makes you both feel good and loosen up a lot. Sharing a sense of humour is an irreplaceable aspect of a friendship that creates a very strong connection between two people. Laughter is one of the most contagious emotions, and someone’s laugh is easily one of the most memorable features of someone.
Not everyone has the same sense of humour though because there are many different types of humour sorted into nine main groups:
- Physical humour
- Self-deprecating humour
- weird/absurd humour
- dry/witty humour
- wordplay/ puns
- Observational humour
- Dirty/ toilet humour
- Dark humour
Find out more about the different groups here
Some people find it hard to make people laugh in an uncomfortable situation but with some practice, you will be able to make jokes and make people laugh all the time, and that is honestly the best feeling in the world, in my opinion!
- Find common grounds
Work out something you both like doing. Sometimes this will happen naturally, but sometimes you will have to initiate this by asking questions like: “what is your favourite sport?” or “how do you feel about cricket?” Once you start with something simple that you both like, you are sure to find many other things that you have in common.
When you find something you both enjoy, you can relate to past experiences with the topic and other ‘pathways’ that lead to an open conversation. It is easy to ask questions based on the topic to find out more about the person because; 1. They will be comfortable talking about the subject, and 2. There are usually lots of things relating to the subject that you can talk about, eg. If they play soccer, you can ask them what other sports they play.
- Ask open-ended questions
Asking open-ended questions is a good way to find out more about a person and continue a conversation. Asking yes or no questions usually shuts down a conversion after a one-word answer and it doesn’t open any discussion up. So, instead of asking “do you like sport?” you will be better off asking “what sports do you play?” This question can lead into a whole string of other questions and opens up a discussion.
Eg. “What sports do you play?”
“I don’t play any”
“Oh, then what do you do in your free time”
And so on.
Sometimes it can be difficult to think of questions so here are 20 questions you could ask:
- What school do you go to? Do you like it there?
- What sports do you play? How long have you played/done it for?
- Do you have any siblings? Bother/s or sister/s? Older or younger? Do you get along?
- What’s your favourite colour? why?
- What’s your favourite food? Why?
- What’s your favourite subject? Why?
- Do you like maths? why/why not?
- How many times have you moved house? Where was your favourite place to live?
- Do you have any pets? What’s their name? How old are they?
- What did you do today/ this week? Was it fun?
- What are you most looking forward to? When are you doing that?
- What was the last movie you watched? Did you like it? Would you recommend it?
- What’s your favourite book/movie/anything? Why? When did you read it? Is it part of a series?
- Where did you last go on holidays? Was it nice there? How long did you go for?
- What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken? Did it pay off?
- What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?
- Give me your best pick up line? Have you ever used it? Did it work?
- What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?
- What is the nicest thing you have ever done for someone? Who was it for?
- What was your proudest moment? When was that?
Stay calm and loosen up a bit and you are sure to make a new friend. It is a lot harder to start a conversation if you are stressing about what the person is going to think of you. Just be yourself!!